I’ve decided to quit.

Well.  Today is the day.  I have no idea what actually came over me and why I picked today to quit, but I have decided to give up smoking cigarettes.  Something has come over me and I realized I have to start somewhere.  I have to start so that in 3 months, I will be able to look back and see that I have gone somewhere.  I am tired of not having anything to look back on and be proud of that I have accomplished.  So today is the day I am starting.  I am putting it out there for people to know and in 3 months when I have done it, we will celebrate.  But for now, here is to day one.  I don’t smoke a bunch, maybe 4-5 a day, but enough that I shouldn’t.  I hide it from my parents. (I know they know I do but it isn’t talked about) I don’t do it in front of certain people.  So I think it is time to make a change and just quit all together.  I only smoke when I am driving so I know this afternoon is going to be a test.  But I am saying NO and going to fight the urge and temptation and be strong.  I can be strong and I will.  I always view myself as weak, but today I am going to be strong against this one thing.  Maybe if I can be strong against one thing, I will be strong against other things, like dickward soon to be married man texting me.  Here’s to being strong and knowing that I can do something I set my mind to.



A single, two doubles and a triple

Some of you may have no earthly idea what I am even talking about.  But last night, I played in a slow pitch softball game for the first time in about a year, and that’s what I hit.  Which is so stinkin great for me.  I couldn’t believe it. I haven’t swung a bat in nearly 12 months and I came out the gate HOT.  I used to play ball a lot. Like all the time.  Then life happened and I just couldn’t get out on the field.

When I say life, I mean hard life.  When I started playing ball again as an adult, I played on a team with my best friend.  My best friend who became my roommate.  My roommate who drove drunk one night and ran his car into a tree and died.  After than, ball wasn’t as fun anymore.  There were too many memories that brought on a slew of emotions so I just didn’t play. But last night, I played.  And played great at that.  The memories were still there, but in a good way.  In a healed way.  Not that I am healed from losing a best friend in such a tragic way. But healed enough that there was peace when I was playing.

Life is hard.  I have been through some things.  I have lost people and had every single one of my feelings hurt.  But I am still here.  I am making the best of what I have and seeing that living life to the fullest brings great peace to someone like me.  I am by no means perfect.  I screw up regularly.  I am judgey.  And rude. And negative.  But I can recognize it. And work on changing it.  So thanks for listening. And encouraging. And just being.  I appreciate this little community that I can share with.


The Perfect Weekend

Have you ever just had one of those weekends that puts you in a really happy place? Nothing was planned, but the plans all worked out and you had an absolutely incredible weekend? No? Well I did. So here’s how it all went down.

Friday night was epic.  I have been working a TON lately so I knew that I was going to just relax and take it easy. Recharge. Rest. Which is exactly what I did.  I ordered pizza and watched 5 episodes of Showtimes SMILF. I would have watched more, but I only had 5 left to watch.  It might be one of the funniest shows I have ever watched.  The main character is so quick and drops the best one liners. I can’t wait for season two!

Saturday was even better than Friday.  I woke up ON MY OWN!  No alarm. No phone calls.  Nothing. There is nothing I hate more than being woken up by a phone call from someone I don’t want to talk to at the moment.  It’s usually my mom calling to bitch at me or ask me to do something for her (that she is fully capable of doing herself) and it ALWAYS puts me in a sour mood.  I know it’s something I need to work on, but for now, I hate it.  So Saturday I woke up, had coffee and watched hours of food network.  FN is usually what I have on for my background noise. Around 3, the fireman showed up.  Now before you freak out, this was a hired fireman.  I ordered a new dresser from Wayfair a couple weeks ago and nearly had a panic attack when I unwrapped the pieces from the boxes they sent me.  I knew there was no way in hell I would ever get that thing put together so I hired an off duty fireman to come to my house and assemble the dresser for me.  Now, he did it wearing clothes which I was bummed about, but he told me it was the hardest piece of furniture he had ever assembled.  So I felt better about my decision to spend the money on hiring someone.

While he was there, I got a text from a girlfriend asking me if I wanted 4 free tickets to the baseball game at 6:10.  Of course I did. Now, who was I going to ask? Well, it ended up just my dad and I being able to go.  And it was actually the best decision.  We had a great time just the two of us hanging out watching the game.  Something we haven’t ever done just the two of us.  We stayed most of the game and even went to grab some oysters and dirty martini’s afterward.  It was so nice for just the two of us to hang.  After I left dinner, I went to meet up with some girlfriends who I hadn’t hung out with in quite a while.  We ended up downtown and had a blast drinking and dancing the night away. After a 25 min wait in the Whataburger drive through, I was home and finally asleep by 4 am!

The next morning, I had to get my ass in gear.  I had to pick up a few gifts for my grandma who we were having a late lunch with for Mother’s day.  We had a the best Brunch and the best time as a family for a couple hours before we went our separate ways.  I headed off to do some shopping at Anthropology and found nothing.  I am needing some new handles for my new dresser and I didn’t find anything that I loved at Anthro.  I paid 3 bucks to park for an hour, so I figured I would browse around a few other stores.  I found a cute 85 percent off planner at the Paper Source and the cutest top/dress at Free People that I spent wayyyy too much money on. After I was done browsing, I headed to IKEA.  I walked the entire damn store and left with NOTHING.  I was actually quite sad about it because I need some things for my room, but didn’t find anything that I loved.  So off to Target I went.  I almost always grab a popcorn while I wander around Target, and today was no different.  Didn’t find anything I wanted at Tarj other than a few essentials for the casa.  But found a 30 dollar gift card in my wallet I forgot about, so score one for me.  After Target I headed home for a night on the couch with my pup. I had a ton of stuff I could have done, but it was great to just relax and recharge for a full week ahead.

Did you do anything exciting this weekend? Are you ready for the week ahead? I would love to connect with some people and hear from you.



Holy Smokes

Man. This blogging stuff is no joke.  There is so much to learn. So many different things I had NO idea about until I really started to research it.  You guys are my HEROS!! I spent my entire night listening to whatever was on Bravo and reading tips and tricks of the trade.  I followed, liked, commented and just browsed for almost 3 hours last night. I didn’t know there was so much that went into successful blogging. I loved learning new things and am actually excited to dig further into it.

One of the biggest things I learned is that I need to find a niche.  What do I want to talk about? What do people want to read? Should I do a food post? Should I talk about everything Bravo? When do I schedule my posts for? How many people should I follow on twitter? SO. MANY. THINGS! So much to talk about! I am still working on a plan. So hang in there. I promise I will have some good stuff.  Some funny stuff.  Some serious stuff. Lots of stuff.  I just got to get a plan.  I love a plan.  I love writing things down in a notebook and having them come to life.  So that’s what I will do this weekend.  I’ll plan.  I will buy a new notebook (because one can never have enough notebooks) and sit and think and learn and create.  And I could not be more excited about it.

So thank you to those few who took the time to encourage me yesterday. Thank you for sticking with me on this and making it fun and exciting for me.  I can honestly say I am super excited for this journey and the things that could come from it.

Here’s to a weekend of happy planning,